I Hope (November 2, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

Gale-force winds arose, and waves crashed against the boat so that the boat was swamped. But Jesus was in the rear of the boat, sleeping on a pillow. They woke him up and said, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re drowning?” He got up and gave orders to the wind, and he said to the lake, “Silence! Be still!” The wind settled down and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:37-39; context)

…Filling Up…

On Tuesday, I asked you to think about where you expect God to be during the storm. Here’s my answer.

I hope that God is in the midst of the storm.
As it swirls around me, I hope that God swirls too,
In a closer orbit than the storm.
I hope that God will set my feet upon a rock and make my footsteps firm,
That God will be my crag and my stronghold,
That God will be with me when I lie down to sleep
And will sustain me until I rise again.

I hope that God will break out from my breaking heart.
I hope that God will be the willing target for my slings and arrows.
I hope that God will chase me when I run away.

I hope that God will be in the silent moments of waiting
And the calamitous moments of distress.
I hope that God will be in the warmth of the hand that holds onto mine
And in the words of the one who consoles me.
I hope that God will be in the breath that somehow still moves into and out of me,
Despite the feeling that death is all around.
I hope that God will take me into the palm of God’s hand
And enfold me with love.

I hope that God will be in the stern of the boat
And when I shout out in my distress,
God will rise up,
See the waves crashing and the wind howling and the boat filling with water,
And God will say to the storm and to the waves and to the heart pounding in my chest,
“Peace, be still.”

…Praying For…

Dear God, you are with me in the storm. Help me be with you. You are with me in my distress. Help me give my distress to you. You are with me all the days of my life. Help me give my life to you. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

Stuff Happens (November 1, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

It was now about noon, and darkness covered the whole earth until about three o’clock, while the sun stopped shining. Then the curtain in the sanctuary tore down the middle. Crying out in a loud voice, Jesus said, “Father, into your hands I entrust my life.” After he said this, he breathed for the last time. (Luke 23:44-46; context)

…Filling Up…

If God is always with us and wants what’s best for us, why do storms happen at all? Why isn’t everything just good all the time?

There is no easy answer to these questions, and my self-imposed word count won’t even scratch the surface, so rather than trying to answer them, I think I’ll just examine the premises behind them for today.

Storms happen. Bad stuff happens. We all know that this is a fact of life. This fact leads us to a choice. We can deny God’s existence, which would mean that there’s no problem with bad stuff happening because there would be no God to prevent it. Or we can affirm God’s existence – and affirm God’s utter goodness – and this leads to the question we are wrestling with.

Let’s choose the second option. God exists and God is good. But bad stuff happens. This leads us to another choice. Either God allows the bad stuff to happen, which seems to deny God’s goodness. Or God has no control over the bad stuff happening, which seems to deny God’s omnipotence.

You can see how this is very tricky.

Or perhaps there’s a third option, which is the one that I would argue the experience of Jesus Christ shows to be true. Bad stuff happens. But God is there. Good stuff happens. But God is there. Stuff happens. But God is there. In Jesus’ death on the cross, the worst of storms assailed him. In his resurrection, he showed us that not even the worst storm was a match for God’s presence. God does not cause the storm, but God does cause us to be able to weather it.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you sustain me both through my storms and my sunny days. Help me to put my trust in you, so that I may know that through your strength I won’t drown, no matter how high the waves. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

Vying for Airtime (October 31, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

God, listen to my prayer; don’t avoid my request! Pay attention! Answer me! I can’t sit still while complaining. I say to myself, I wish I had wings like a dove! I’d fly away and rest.  I’d hurry to my hideout, far from the rushing wind and storm. (Psalm 55:1-2; 6, 8; context)

…Filling Up…

One of the side effects of our storms is that they tend to lessen our ability to be aware of God’s presence. The most important thing to remember when faced with a storm – to cling to, really, with all of your might – is that God’s presence is not dependent on our awareness of God’s presence. In other words, we are with God whether we realize it or not.

While this is a comforting thought, when we are in the midst of a storm, I think most of us would agree that it would be better if God’s presence were easier to find than harder. But that’s not how it seems to work. Is that God’s fault? Is there a flaw in God’s plan here?

Or is it the natural outcome of calamity? When we fall into distress, the amount of stimuli that bombards us goes way up. With so much more clamoring for our attention, it’s no wonder that being aware of God’s presence gets harder. If the fullness of God’s presence is always with us, then it’s impossible for that presence to get bigger or fuller. God’s presence abides – always strong, always steadfast. But because it is always with us, we have a tendency to push it into the background when calamity strikes.

So when the storm vies for airtime, it is incumbent on us to remember that God’s presence does not reduce itself just because the storm seems to be growing out of control. Rather than deciding that God has gone on holiday, the most faithful response we can give is to heighten our awareness, to hold onto the little things that remind us that God is with us. At first these little things – the hug your mother gave you when you were crying, the encouraging text from a friend – will seem woefully insignificant in the midst of the storm. But they add up, and they remind us that God is there – always.

…Praying For…

Dear God, help me to remember that your presence is constant and abiding even during the storms of my life. Help me to rely on you even when I have trouble knowing you are there. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

Foxholes (October 30, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

Everybody who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise builder who built a house on bedrock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the wind blew and beat against that house. It didn’t fall because it was firmly set on bedrock. (Matthew 7:24-25; context)

…Filling Up…

They say there are no atheists in foxholes. I’m not sure how true this statement is since I’ve never known anyone who has dug a foxhole while enemy mortars were raining down. But you can see where the line of thought comes from: when faced with dire circumstances, the conventional wisdom says that people tend to rely on, rather than deny, the existence of God.

Is this conventional wisdom true? Do more people rely on God rather than deny God when faced with life’s storms? I have no evidence one way or the other, but my gut tells me that people tend to rely on God, even if they would never use such language to express themselves. This reliance on God takes many forms, to be sure, and some are less obvious than others. Here are a few of them. See if any of these fall into your experience when a storm has arisen in your life.

  1. God has always been your steady rock, in both good times and bad. When the storm comes up, your reliance on God feels just as natural as it always does.
  2. You have a vague belief in God, but that belief doesn’t really impact the way you live your life. When the storm rises, you discover that your belief keeps you afloat and you are astonished to find out you believe as fiercely as you do.
  3. The storm rises and you feel like God has abandoned you. You search and search, but you just can’t seem to find God in your situation. When the storm subsides, you realize that the search for God in your distress was just what you needed to sustain you.
  4. The storm rises and you blame God for your distress. You tell God you don’t believe anymore. Then you realize that you can’t blame something you don’t believe in. And you understand that God will willingly take the blame if it helps you persevere.

Relying on God takes so many forms that trying to classify them all would be a fool’s errand. So I encourage you to tackle this question this week: when faced with a storm in my life, where do I expect God to be?

…Praying For…

Dear God, thank you for promising never to separate from me or let me wander off alone. In the midst of the storm, help me to recognize your presence and rely on you. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

The Coming Storm (October 29, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

So they cried out to the LORD in their distress, and God brought them out safe from their desperate circumstances. God quieted the storm to a whisper; the sea’s waves were hushed. (Psalm 107:28-29; context)

…Filling Up…

As I write this, a hurricane is bearing down on the east coast of the United States. Since I live outside of Boston, there’s a better than good chance that I’ll be seeing quite a bit of rain over the next few days. High winds, too. Maybe some power outages and isolated flooding. Hopefully no fatalities.

The utility companies are scrambling to cut down tree limbs that could potentially fall on power lines. The governor has already declared a state of emergency. My wife and I took our patio furniture off the porch. And when I passed by the grocery store on my way home today, there wasn’t a single empty parking space (and I doubt there was any bottled water or batteries inside either).

All of this preparation for the storm has gotten me thinking about how we as followers of Jesus Christ prepare for the storms that happen in our lives – not necessarily the actual weather events (though sometimes, maybe), but the tragedies and the calamities and the disappointments, which inevitably happen in our lives.

You might be wondering: if God loves us and wants the best for us, how could God let us experience such storms? We’ll look briefly at this question (though it would take a lot longer than a week to examine it). You might be wondering what we can do when we are facing disaster or what God does when we are facing it. We’ll look at these too.

So pile up the sandbags and batten down the hatches. We’ll ride out this storm together.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you never abandon me, even when we are in the eye of the storm. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

On the Road

(Sermon for Sunday, October 28, 2012 || Proper 25B || Mark 10:46-52)

He can’t see them, but he knows they are coming. As he sits by the roadside, he tastes the dust cloud stirred up by their approach. He feels small tremors in the ground caused by their steady, tramping steps. He hears the snorts and bellows of animals, the jingle of bells, the laughter of people. He smells fresh bread and wet animal hair. He can’t see them, but he knows they are coming.

They begin to pass him by, a large crowd: cajoling, telling jokes and fish stories, brushing his knees with rough, hand-spun garments. They begin to pass him by, Bartimaeus, the blind beggar. They begin to pass him by, and he is as invisible to them as they are to him. They are walking on the road to Jerusalem; he is sitting by that road—just sitting, waiting for a coin or a cup of water. But soon some people mention Jesus as they pass him, and in a few moments, Jesus transforms Bartimaeus from this passive sitter by the road into an active follower on the road.

Bartimaeus probably sits in the very same spot by the road every day. Other beggars probably know that is Bartimaeus’s spot. He probably sits down by the road early in the morning and spreads his cloak over his crossed legs, making a basket to catch whatever travelers’ spare from their purses. I’m sure Bartimaeus can hear the coins jangling from their hips. By the sounds different amounts of money make, I bet he can tell how much people will toss onto his cloak. Too few coins in the purse—or too many—and he will get nothing. Bartimaeus sits by the road, waiting for that dull thud of coin on cloak. Day by day, from dew-laden morning to scalding midday to shadow-stretched evening, he sits by the road, waiting.

You might notice that I keep saying that Bartimaeus sits by the road. At first glance, Mark telling us this innocuous detail sounds like the blocking for the scene; if Mark were directing this encounter for the stage, he would plop Bartimaeus down next to, but not on, the road. Now, Mark is usually in a hurry to tell his story, but in detailing the blind beggar’s location, he slows down and sets up a profound encounter with Jesus. Before we get to that encounter, let’s go back to the seemingly insignificant detail of Bartimaeus sitting by the road. I’ll tell you about the road part now, and I promise I’ll get to the sitting part in a bit.

In Mark’s Gospel, road turns out to be a very significant word, indeed. At the beginning of his Gospel, Mark quotes the prophet Isaiah: “See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way; the voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord…’” Now, you might be confused here because, unless you were translating that passage into Greek on the fly, you didn’t hear me say the word road. Let me try the same passage again: “See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your road; the voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the road of the Lord…’” Not as poetic, perhaps, but the point is in the original language way and road are the same word. So Bartimaeus is sitting next to the way, which we might think of as the way of the Lord. I suspect that some of you are now thinking: come on, Adam, you got all that from Mark telling us Bartimaeus is sitting by the road? Isn’t that a bit of a stretch? If you’re thinking that, just bear with me for another couple of minutes.

Okay, so Bartimaeus is sitting by the road. He is just sitting—no movement, no motion, just monotony. All too often, we are sitting by the road, too. We sit by the road when we let opportunities to serve our neighbors go by. We sit by the road when we choose not to forgive others and when we reject the forgiveness of others. We sit by the road when we rely only on ourselves and not on God to move our lives. The road is the way of Jesus Christ. When we sit by that road, we know the road is there, but we choose not to journey down the road in the company of our savior. We just sit—no movement, no motion, just monotony.

But Bartimaeus’s monotony is about to end. As he sits by the road, he hears that Jesus of Nazareth is passing by. He shouts out and Jesus halts the moving crowd. Jesus stands still and calls the blind beggar forward. While Jesus takes no physical actions at all in this story, his mere presence catalyzes Bartimaeus into action. First he shouts out from his sitting position by the road. He shouts out again because he hears that Jesus is near. When Jesus calls to him, he throws off his cloak. He literally tosses his cloak aside, probably scattering coins in all directions. Then he springs up, he jumps to his feet and comes to Jesus. Each of these actions portrays an exuberance that cannot be controlled, an excitement that cannot be contained. The very presence of Jesus, even a Jesus who just stands motionless, causes Bartimaeus to leave his motionless sitting position by the road.

Imagine how odd the scene would be if Bartimaeus were politely to ask if he could talk with Jesus rather than shouting at the top of his lungs while people tried to silence him. Imagine how odd the scene would be if Bartimaeus were carefully to fold his cloak and set the garment aside before calmly standing up. No, these staid actions won’t do. The exhilaration Bartimaeus feels at being in Jesus’ presence translates into such evocative actions as throwing off his cloak and springing to his feet.

When Bartimaeus, in all his enthusiasm, comes to Jesus, Jesus asks him what he wants. I hear Bartimaeus say his next line with breathless excitement: “My teacher, let me see again.” And with a word, Jesus immediately renews his sight. When Bartimaeus regains his sight, does he go back and sit down cross-legged by the road with his cloak over his legs? Does he go back to a life of no movement, no motion, just monotony? No. Mark tells us that Bartimaeus follows Jesus on the road. Bartimaeus is now following the way of the Lord. The very presence of Jesus transforms Bartimaeus from a passive sitter by the road to an active follower on the road.

We follow that road when we take the opportunities to serve our neighbors, and when we forgive others, and when we accept forgiveness from others, and when we rely on God and not only ourselves to move our lives. This road is the way of Jesus Christ. When we follow the way we participate in God’s movement, in God’s motion, in God’s majesty. We know the way we are to follow by the presence of Jesus on the road. Like Bartimaeus, the presence of Jesus causes us to shout out and refuse to be silenced. The presence of Jesus causes us to throw off our cloaks and spring to our feet. The presence of Jesus causes us to be healed and follow Christ on the way.

When the power, when the passion, when the presence of the living God, of Jesus Christ, of the Holy Spirit erupt in and around us, we cannot stay sitting by the road for long. This eruption of God’s love and grace in Jesus Christ flows into and out of us; God heals each of us and gives us the strength to spring up and follow on the way.

100 Decisions (October 26, 2012)

…Opening To…

Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free. (Paul Tillich, Theologian)

…Listening In…

Now choose life—so that you and your descendants will live—by loving the LORD your God, by obeying his voice, and by clinging to him. That’s how you will survive and live long on the fertile land the LORD swore to give to your ancestors: to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. (Deuteronomy 30:19-20; context)

…Filling Up…

We make hundreds of small decisions every day. We make big decisions every once in a while. In either case, increasing our awareness of God’s presence in our lives is the best way to consistently make the right choices. I believe that God always and forever yearns for us to choose those things that will bring us – individually and collectively – abundant life and complete joy. That doesn’t mean that we will breeze through life. It doesn’t mean that life will be easy. It doesn’t mean that every decision we make will bring the outcome we expect or desire.

But God’s yearning for us does mean that God will never abandon us to face the consequences of our decisions alone. In the verses above, Moses advises the people of Israel to “choose life,” which is a short way of saying: “choose only those things that affirm the vitality of your existence, that make you thrive, that show that God isn’t done creating yet.”

With all that in mind, I invite you to review the last week. Sit down with a pad of paper, or pull out the note feature of your iPad or smartphone, and list every single one of the decisions you’ve made this week. No decision is too small. It could be as small as “whether or not to make a certain pass in your soccer game.” No decision is too big to list either. It could be as big as “whether or not to plagiarize your history essay.”

See if you can get 100 decisions. That may seem like a lot at first, but if you look at your days and really comb through them, you’ll start to see just how large the number of decisions you make is. After making your list, review it and but a star next to all the decisions you made in full awareness of God’s presence in your life. It’s okay if you end up not starring many or any at all. Next week make the same list. In the meantime, try practicing being more aware of God’s presence and God’s yearnings for you. And I guarantee, next week’s list will be full of stars.

…Praying For…

Dear God, thank you for trusting me enough to make my own decisions. Help me not to misplace that trust, but always to remember that you are with me in all my choices. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, rejoicing that you are with me in all the decisions I make.

Right, but Really Hard (October 25, 2012)

…Opening To…

Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free. (Paul Tillich, Theologian)

…Listening In…

You are definitely my rock and my fortress. Guide me and lead me for the sake of your good name. (Psalm 31:3; context)

…Filling Up…

Practicing God’s presence at all times helps us make the best decisions, whether small or big. So many small choices happen every day and deciding them in the light of God’s yearnings for us is the best way to live. This is the overarching theme I hope you get out of this week. But today I want to focus on something a little different. It still has to do with decision-making, though, so stick with me.

Sometimes you are faced with a choice. You pray about it, you think about it, maybe you write down lists of pros and cons. Each of the choices makes you feel discouraged or just so small in the face of the long, long path the decision could take you down. For one reason of another, in the end, neither choice feels right. They both (or they all) just feel somehow wrong. So what do you do?

The first thing to do is start over to make sure you didn’t miss an option. So you do that and then you end up back where you were before. None of the options feels right, but perhaps something inside you stirs you towards one of the choices, even though it feels wrong. You’ve now come to a tricky situation. How do you choose between the wrong option and the right (but really really hard to do) option. The right (but really really hard to do) option feels wrong at first because you just can’t wrap your head around what it would mean to take it on. It’s just too big, too daunting.

For example, perhaps you start smoking and despite your best efforts, you become addicted. You know smoking is wrong because of the harm it can do to you and people around you. But you look at the right choice – quitting – and it feels wrong, too. The right choice feels wrong because it is just so darn hard to do.

Here’s where we return to the daily-ness of decisions. By recognizing God’s presence each day in our lives, we can make the right choices more often than not. When faced with the right (but really really hard to do) choice, we have to make it every single day. We don’t make it just once. We make it over and over again. In our example, the choice not to smoke happens every day, maybe every hour. We can’t make the right (but really really hard to do) decisions just once. They’re too big. So thank God that we can make them over and over again with God’s help.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you are the rock in whom I trust. Help me to turn to you for strength when I in the midst of making right, but really really hard decisions. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, rejoicing that you are with me in all the decisions I make.

No More Wavy Lays (October 24, 2012)

…Opening To…

Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free. (Paul Tillich, Theologian)

…Listening In…

Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; context)

…Filling Up…

The little decisions flit through our lives so quickly and so often that we barely register them. Each one lasts a moment, and since they are small, there’s a better than average chance that they are taking very little of our attention and focus. Now, I must admit that when I said yesterday that I thought we should pray every time we make a small decision, I was being slightly misleading.

While I do think we should pray, I have a feeling that my understanding of prayer in this particular situation might be different than the one in your minds. At its broadest, prayer is our response to God. It’s that simple. Whenever we do or say something because of God’s presence in our lives, we are praying. This includes the normal conception of prayer – the prayers before going to bed type of praying – but it also includes so much more. It includes the urge to help someone in trouble, for example. The urge is of God. Helping is prayer.

This expansive understanding of prayer allows us to see our entire lives happening in the midst the presence of God. We are swimming and the water is God. Such an outlook is, I think, the absolute best way to live a life, and it also helps us make the best decisions possible – both small and big.

We can cultivate a way of life that sees everything we do as a response to God’s presence (and therefore as a prayer). Since everything includes everything, it includes the hundreds of small decisions we make each day. By practicing our response to God’s presence, we can become more attuned to God’s yearning for us, which, in turn, helps us make the right decisions. Of course, we won’t get them right every time, but the act of staying in tune with God will help us choose the right paths more often than not.

The more decisions we make that end up being life-affirming and full of joy and abundance, the more apt we will be to make them again. I used to love potato chips. I mean, I could eat a whole bag of wavy Lays in one sitting. But a few years ago, they started to make me very sick. Even a single chip makes me violently ill. So I stopped eating them. Now when I see a bowl of chips at a lunch meeting or party, I have to decide every time not to have one. But you know what? Over time, that decision has gotten easier and easier. Now, I hardly ever miss them.

…Praying For…

Dear God, thank you for giving me the strength of will to make good decisions. Help me when I fail to come back to your life-giving way. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, rejoicing that you are with me in all the decisions I make.

Another Coke (October 23, 2012)

…Opening To…

Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free. (Paul Tillich, Theologian)

…Listening In…

Better to be patient than a warrior, and better to have self-control than to capture a city. The dice are cast into the lap; all decisions are from the LORD. (Proverbs 16:32-33; context)

…Filling Up…

I’d hazard to guess that most people give quite a bit of thought to the “big” decisions: where to go to college, whom to marry, how much debt you think you can handle when you’re thinking about buying that first car, who gets your vote for president. You get the idea. A “big” decision doesn’t crop up every day, though we may spend many days wrestling with such a decision.

We notice these big decisions. They keep us up at night. They send us to friends and family for input. But the small decisions – the hundreds we make every day like the ones I listed yesterday – tend to slip under the radar. And these decisions can have just as big an impact on your life as one big decision. Here’s an example.

Every day, you walk by the soda machine at school or work. You’ve got correct change jangling in your pocket, so you slot the necessary coins into the machine and, deciding on a beverage, press the button. The 20-ounce Coca-Cola clatters to the base of the machine; you stoop down, pick it up, unscrew the top, and enjoy. You do this every day. A couple times a week, you also decide to stop by McDonald’s on the way home for an afternoon snack: a large fry and another Coke. This becomes a routine, and pretty soon you don’t realize that the aggregated small decisions to put stuff into your body will, over the long term, damage it. When you’re diagnosed with Diabetes, you are faced with another set of decisions. They are the same ones you were making before – the soda machine, the drive-thru, among others – but they are no longer small decisions. Every one of them is big.

This is a negative example, but it works positively, too. You’re stuck in the checkout line behind a person taking an impossibly long time. You can decide to be angry or to be gracious. You choose grace. Now, multiply that decision a thousand times – every time you get annoyed – and see how much better your life is when you choose to be gracious.

These little decisions flit through our lives so quickly that we rarely register as having made them at all. So what are we followers of Jesus to do? Pray every time we make a decision? YES. Doesn’t that seem extraneous, exhausting, and, quite possibly overkill? NO. But more on that tomorrow.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you are with me in all the decisions I make. Help me to have the foresight to see down the path that my decisions are taking me. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, rejoicing that you are with me in all the decisions I make.