The Promise (November 9, 2012)

…Opening To…

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer… I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me… Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. (Frank Herbert, Dune)

…Listening In…

You didn’t receive a spirit of slavery to lead you back again into fear, but you received a Spirit that shows you are adopted as his children. With this Spirit, we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15; context)

…Filling Up…

The more fear that we have, the more we deprive ourselves of fear’s antidote. That antidote is trust. When we were children, we faced our fears because we trusted our parents’ advice. We believed that they would not lead us astray, and they didn’t. The darkness did not frighten us to death. The monsters did not pounce.

So how come we have so much trouble trusting in God? How come fear tends to trump trust more often than not? I think the answer is this. Trust takes energy. While fear creeps along, keeping us from action, trust derives from the kind of sustained relationship, which establishes and nourishes faithfulness. God always keeps God’s promises. God is always trustworthy. The trouble is we have to trust that God is trustworthy. We have to practice the faith that God has given us in order to maintain our ability to trust in God.

And fear constantly diverts this ability. But when we practice trust, when we believe that God’s keeps God’s promises, we can face our fears, we can keep at bay the gnawing dread of deprivation. Our grown-up fears may be concrete and relentless. But I am convinced that they are no match for the power of trusting in God.

Over this weekend, I invite you to take some time to be silent and to turn your thoughts inward. What do you fear? What kind of deprivation is at the root of that fear? And how will practicing trusting God help you face that fear? In your reflection, remember this good news. When Jesus says, “Don’t be afraid,” he is not just giving a command. He is giving a promise that when we face our fears, we will not be alone. When we face our fears, they will pass through us, and when they are gone, only God, holding us in the palm of God’s hand, will remain.

…Praying For…

Dear God, the only reason I know there is something called “trust” is because you are trustworthy. Help me to practice trusting you so that I can ward off fear. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you God, ready to face my fears with the knowledge that you are with me.

Bigger Barns (November 8, 2012)

…Opening To…

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer… I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me… Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. (Frank Herbert, Dune)

…Listening In…

Then he told them a parable: “A certain rich man’s land produced a bountiful crop. He said to himself, What will I do? I have no place to store my harvest! Then he thought, Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. That’s where I’ll store all my grain and goods.” (Luke 12:16-18; context)

…Filling Up…

Jesus assures his disciples that their fears are baseless because their accumulation of stuff will not help them enter the kingdom of God. This assurance runs counter to the fashionable reasoning of the day, which stated that the more stuff you owned, the more blessed you were. “God obviously favors that person,” ran this line of thinking. “Just look at all the stuff he has.” Not too much different from today, I’m sad to say.

But Jesus changed the rules. Remember the story that the verse above is quoted from? Jesus tells a parable about a rich fool. His land produces more than his barns could hold, so he decides to tear down those barns and build larger ones. The more stuff I have, the more secure and comfortable I will feel, he tells himself. Surely, this man would have been considered blessed in his society. But he dies the very night he planned to erect larger storehouses, and he surely couldn’t take his barn-loads of stuff with him. The rich man’s folly shows the misguided lengths to which people will go to ward off deprivation, the root cause of fear.

But Jesus shows his disciples another way to face their fear. Rather than accumulating stuff, give it away, he says. Face deprivation by depriving yourself of the things you think you can’t live without. And you’ll discover pretty quickly that you can, in fact, live without those things.

I’m sure that you’ve heard this interpretation before, perhaps so many times that you tune it out now. And if you’re like me, you really aren’t any closer to facing the root of fear than you were the last time you heard someone talk about this. I know for myself that I used to be able to fit all my possessions in a 1992 Mazda Protégé. When I moved to Massachusetts, I needed every square inch of a 14-foot U-Haul. With more stuff comes more fear of loss, more fear of that stuff not being enough. But fear is only one side of the story. We’ll finish the tale tomorrow.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you know that accumulating stuff is no way to get rid of fear. Help me to know this truth in my life and fill myself with more of your blessings instead. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you God, ready to face my fears with the knowledge that you are with me.

The Root of Fear (November 7, 2012)

…Opening To…

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer… I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me… Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. (Frank Herbert, Dune)

…Listening In…

“Don’t be afraid, little flock, because your Father delights in giving you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to those in need.” (Luke 12:32-33a; context)

…Filling Up…

When our childhood fears reared their ugly heads, our parents told his to face them. That’s how to defeat fear, they said, and we believed them. Then we got older and that advice started to seem flimsy because the fears are so real. But Jesus gave us the same advice, so maybe we should listen to it!

But before we get to that, we first need to address where fear comes from. The root of fear is deprivation, the feeling that there is a lack of something. We fear when something has the potential to become scarce. We fear when we perceive that there is not enough of a certain something. Supply and demand economic theory is based squarely on this reality. The root of fear is deprivation. You can trace all fears to this specific cause, even though specific fears may appear quite differently.

Fears manifest themselves one way or another depending on the nature of the deprivation. If you are afraid of the dark, you fear a scarcity of light. If you are afraid of getting turned down by your crush, you fear the loss of the dream you’ve created for yourself. If you are afraid of contracting a terminal illness, you fear being deprived of a long, healthy life.

You can trace all fears to specific deprivations, and by confronting the sources of scarcity, you can face your fears. Jesus identifies the disciples’ source of fear when he says to them, “Don’t be afraid, little flock, because your Father delights in giving you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to those in need.” Jesus assures them that their fears are baseless because their accumulation of stuff will not help them enter the kingdom of God.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you offer abundance, but usually I see only scarcity. Help me to let go of fear by seeing your abundance in my life. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you God, ready to face my fears with the knowledge that you are with me.

Face Your Fear (November 6, 2012)

…Opening To…

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer… I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me… Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. (Frank Herbert, Dune)

…Listening In…

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger because you are with me. Your rod and your staff—they protect me. (Psalm 23:4; context)

…Filling Up…

Perhaps you were afraid of the dark as a small child like we mentioned yesterday. Or perhaps you were afraid of the monsters under your bed. There they were: always lurking, rumbling, slurping, ready to pounce – until you summoned up enough courage to dangle your head over the side of the bed and chase the monsters away. You faced your fear, and you overcame it.

We look back on these fears of our childhoods and chuckle at how intangible worries grew into monstrous fears. The shadow of your own feet under the covers cast a winged creature on the wall, and the creature moved the more you shook. Under your bed, a pair of shoes and a couple of tennis balls made the ears and eyes of a monster peering up through the floorboards. The fears were nothing really. Our imaginations ran away with us, that’s all.

At least, this is how we dismiss those childhood fears now that we are older. We dismiss them as fanciful or as attention-seeking or as the fruits of overactive imaginations. But hidden within this easy dismissal is also a tacit dismissal of our parents’ advice. “Face your fear,” they said, and we did, and everything got better.

But those were our intangible, childhood fears. That advice couldn’t possibly work on our concrete, grown-up fears, the kind of fears that start to nag us around the beginning of high school and only grow larger as we get older. These fears are too immediate, too relentless, too real. Of course, we forget that this is exactly how our childhood fears felt, as well. Perhaps our parents’ advice, the same advice that I learned reading science fiction, really might work in our lives today. Do you know who gave us this advice, as well? That’s right – Jesus did. But we’ll get to that tomorrow.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you were with me as child, lightening my darkness; you are with me now calming my fears. Help me to remember your presence in my childhood as I look for your presence now. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you God, ready to face my fears with the knowledge that you are with me.

Afraid of the Dark (November 5, 2012)

…Opening To…

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer… I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me… Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. (Frank Herbert, Dune)

…Listening In…

When the wind had driven them out for about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the water. He was approaching the boat and they were afraid. He said to them, “I Am.Don’t be afraid.” (John 6:19-20; context)

…Filling Up…

Many years ago in a dusty volume, I read an old Bene Gesserit litany against fear, and this prayer has stuck with me every since. “I must not fear,” says the litany. “Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Now that dusty volume was Frank Herbert’s Dune, the best selling science-fiction novel of all time, but the words of the litany ring true nonetheless. “I must not fear… Fear is the little-death… I will face my fear.”

From the time we are young children, our parents echo these words and tell us to face our fears. Perhaps you were afraid of the dark. So you mother let you sleep with the lights on for a while. Then she turned the lights off and left the bedside lamp on. A few days later, she turned off the bedside lamp and plugged a nightlight into the wall near the door. Pretty soon, you didn’t even need the nightlight. Your mother helped you face your fear of the dark, and you overcame it.

This week we are going to talk about fear. We’ve done this a lot this semester, but perhaps it’s because fear is so pervasive in our lives and in our society that we need to discuss. Or at least, I find that I do. We’ll start with our childhood fears and see where they lead us.

…Praying For…

Dear God, when I am afraid you are there to calm my fears. Help me to remember your presence. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you God, ready to face my fears with the knowledge that you are with me.

Runaway (Davies Tales # 10)

Aidan Davies knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. Several nights over the last couple of weeks, his father, Alastor, had arrived home, walked straight into the kitchen without a “hello” to anyone, slammed the door of the microwave (in which Lucy had placed his cold dinner), and stabbed the buttons with enough force to make the microwave hop back, as if trying to protect itself from his fingers.

The morning after the most recent of these nights, Lucy told her son that his father had been meeting with various factions of the church’s leadership. “What’s a faction?” asked Aidan, as he pushed around the oatmeal in his bowl.

Lucy held tight to her warm mug with both hands. “It’s a group within a bigger group that doesn’t agree with the rest,” she said.

“And there are factions at church?”

“Yes.”

“And they don’t like Dad anymore?”

“Some don’t.”

More questions clambered to the tip of Aidan’s tongue, but a long sigh from his mother told him that she wasn’t up for an interrogation. So he chose just one final question to ask, one that meant more than all the others.

“Are we going to have to move again?”

At these words, Aidan noticed tears brimming in his mother’s eyes. Lucy put down her mug and ran the sleeve of her bathrobe across her face. Then she stood up, pulled a brown paper sack from the counter, and handed it to Aidan. “Here’s your lunch,” she said. “You’re going to be late for the bus.”

She kissed her own fingers, touched his cheek, and gave him a long look. Again, he saw her eyes swimming. Then he watched her wander away in the direction of her bedroom. I wonder if she’ll still be in there when I get home, he thought.

That afternoon, Aidan put his schoolbag down on the kitchen table and poked his head into the master bedroom. “Brigid?”

Aidan’s sister looked up from making their parents’ bed. “I just put her in the shower,” she said, nodding toward the bathroom.

Aidan moved to the opposite end of the bed and began stuffing the sheet between the mattress and box spring. “No, no.” said Brigid. “You never do it right.” She untucked the rumpled sheet and made a perfect hospital corner. “Like this.”

“Look at you two, making my bed.” Lucy came out of the bathroom wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, with a towel wrapped turban-style on her head to keep her hair from dripping. “My babies are so thoughtful.” She pulled Brigid and Aidan into a hug.

“Mom, we’re not babies,” said Aidan.

“Oh, I know that,” said Lucy. “But you’ll always be my baby.” She reached for his cheek, but he swatted her hand away. She reached again. Another swat. Lucy switched tactics and came at him with tickling fingers. Brigid joined in and soon the master bedroom, so still and stagnant and quiet for hours on end, was filled with laughter.

Then the doorbell rang, and the laughter ceased. Aidan saw Lucy’s eyes widen and then shut tightly. “Brigid,” she said. Her voice was clipped, commanding. “Take you brother upstairs.” She stood up. “Please.”

On his way up the back staircase, Aidan could hear the door opening and his mother’s voice sounding too bright, too controlled. Then he was safe in his room surrounded by LEGO bricks until a few hours later when he heard his father’s voice roaring in the kitchen downstairs. He could hear every word even through the layers of walls.

“I told them that if they ever came to the house, I would, I would…” Alastor’s voice trailed off. Aidan crept out of his room and perched at the top of the stairwell. Brigid sat next to him and held his hand. Just then Alastor found his train of thought again. “I come home to find my wife crying on the floor in the kitchen. Who do these people think they are? My wife, curled up in a ball. I told them that if they ever disturbed you, I would, I would…” He trailed off again, but this time he punctuated his words with what sounded like a punch to the side of the refrigerator.

Then there was silence. Aidan and Brigid tiptoed downstairs and found their parents both sitting with their backs against the dishwasher. Lucy’s face was tearstained, but she wasn’t the one crying now. Alastor was sniffling and hacking and wheezing and all Lucy could do was stroke his cheek with a trembling hand.

Two days later, Aidan walked across the street to the church. It was a crisp morning, but he didn’t put on a jacket since he lived next door. He slipped into the sacristy and donned his acolyte robe. He lit the candles on the altar and retrieved the big cross, which he wasn’t able to lift last year but could now. Alastor joined him at the back of the church and they walked in together. Three-dozen or so parishioners stood as they entered.

When it came time for the sermon, Aidan settled himself in his customary seat in the chancel. His father gave him a faint smile before taking a deep breath. “John the Baptist called the people he talked to a ‘brood of vipers.’ Well, you know what? It seems we have a similar brood here. On Friday evening, I came home to find my wife sobbing on the floor because someone had come…”

Just then, a man stood up from a pew in the middle of the church. “Why don’t you just sit down and shut up,” he said.

Alastor fell silent, and the man’s voice echoed throughout the nave. Then Aidan could hear his father whisper, “So…you, too.” Aidan looked from the man to his father and back again. And then he burst into tears. Alastor walked the few steps to Aidan’s seat. “Do you want to go home, son?” he whispered.

Aidan couldn’t find words, so he just nodded numbly. His father pulled him from the seat and embraced him. Then he carried him to the side door of the church. And Aidan ran away, his tears streaming and the skirt of his vestments flapping in the wind. He wished his house wasn’t so close by. He wished he could go home and be safe. He wished he could run until the church and those factions and those people hurting his family would disappear on the dark side of the horizon.

I Hope (November 2, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

Gale-force winds arose, and waves crashed against the boat so that the boat was swamped. But Jesus was in the rear of the boat, sleeping on a pillow. They woke him up and said, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re drowning?” He got up and gave orders to the wind, and he said to the lake, “Silence! Be still!” The wind settled down and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:37-39; context)

…Filling Up…

On Tuesday, I asked you to think about where you expect God to be during the storm. Here’s my answer.

I hope that God is in the midst of the storm.
As it swirls around me, I hope that God swirls too,
In a closer orbit than the storm.
I hope that God will set my feet upon a rock and make my footsteps firm,
That God will be my crag and my stronghold,
That God will be with me when I lie down to sleep
And will sustain me until I rise again.

I hope that God will break out from my breaking heart.
I hope that God will be the willing target for my slings and arrows.
I hope that God will chase me when I run away.

I hope that God will be in the silent moments of waiting
And the calamitous moments of distress.
I hope that God will be in the warmth of the hand that holds onto mine
And in the words of the one who consoles me.
I hope that God will be in the breath that somehow still moves into and out of me,
Despite the feeling that death is all around.
I hope that God will take me into the palm of God’s hand
And enfold me with love.

I hope that God will be in the stern of the boat
And when I shout out in my distress,
God will rise up,
See the waves crashing and the wind howling and the boat filling with water,
And God will say to the storm and to the waves and to the heart pounding in my chest,
“Peace, be still.”

…Praying For…

Dear God, you are with me in the storm. Help me be with you. You are with me in my distress. Help me give my distress to you. You are with me all the days of my life. Help me give my life to you. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

Stuff Happens (November 1, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

It was now about noon, and darkness covered the whole earth until about three o’clock, while the sun stopped shining. Then the curtain in the sanctuary tore down the middle. Crying out in a loud voice, Jesus said, “Father, into your hands I entrust my life.” After he said this, he breathed for the last time. (Luke 23:44-46; context)

…Filling Up…

If God is always with us and wants what’s best for us, why do storms happen at all? Why isn’t everything just good all the time?

There is no easy answer to these questions, and my self-imposed word count won’t even scratch the surface, so rather than trying to answer them, I think I’ll just examine the premises behind them for today.

Storms happen. Bad stuff happens. We all know that this is a fact of life. This fact leads us to a choice. We can deny God’s existence, which would mean that there’s no problem with bad stuff happening because there would be no God to prevent it. Or we can affirm God’s existence – and affirm God’s utter goodness – and this leads to the question we are wrestling with.

Let’s choose the second option. God exists and God is good. But bad stuff happens. This leads us to another choice. Either God allows the bad stuff to happen, which seems to deny God’s goodness. Or God has no control over the bad stuff happening, which seems to deny God’s omnipotence.

You can see how this is very tricky.

Or perhaps there’s a third option, which is the one that I would argue the experience of Jesus Christ shows to be true. Bad stuff happens. But God is there. Good stuff happens. But God is there. Stuff happens. But God is there. In Jesus’ death on the cross, the worst of storms assailed him. In his resurrection, he showed us that not even the worst storm was a match for God’s presence. God does not cause the storm, but God does cause us to be able to weather it.

…Praying For…

Dear God, you sustain me both through my storms and my sunny days. Help me to put my trust in you, so that I may know that through your strength I won’t drown, no matter how high the waves. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

Vying for Airtime (October 31, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

God, listen to my prayer; don’t avoid my request! Pay attention! Answer me! I can’t sit still while complaining. I say to myself, I wish I had wings like a dove! I’d fly away and rest.  I’d hurry to my hideout, far from the rushing wind and storm. (Psalm 55:1-2; 6, 8; context)

…Filling Up…

One of the side effects of our storms is that they tend to lessen our ability to be aware of God’s presence. The most important thing to remember when faced with a storm – to cling to, really, with all of your might – is that God’s presence is not dependent on our awareness of God’s presence. In other words, we are with God whether we realize it or not.

While this is a comforting thought, when we are in the midst of a storm, I think most of us would agree that it would be better if God’s presence were easier to find than harder. But that’s not how it seems to work. Is that God’s fault? Is there a flaw in God’s plan here?

Or is it the natural outcome of calamity? When we fall into distress, the amount of stimuli that bombards us goes way up. With so much more clamoring for our attention, it’s no wonder that being aware of God’s presence gets harder. If the fullness of God’s presence is always with us, then it’s impossible for that presence to get bigger or fuller. God’s presence abides – always strong, always steadfast. But because it is always with us, we have a tendency to push it into the background when calamity strikes.

So when the storm vies for airtime, it is incumbent on us to remember that God’s presence does not reduce itself just because the storm seems to be growing out of control. Rather than deciding that God has gone on holiday, the most faithful response we can give is to heighten our awareness, to hold onto the little things that remind us that God is with us. At first these little things – the hug your mother gave you when you were crying, the encouraging text from a friend – will seem woefully insignificant in the midst of the storm. But they add up, and they remind us that God is there – always.

…Praying For…

Dear God, help me to remember that your presence is constant and abiding even during the storms of my life. Help me to rely on you even when I have trouble knowing you are there. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.

Foxholes (October 30, 2012)

…Opening To…

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul. (Lloyd John Ogilvie)

…Listening In…

Everybody who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise builder who built a house on bedrock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the wind blew and beat against that house. It didn’t fall because it was firmly set on bedrock. (Matthew 7:24-25; context)

…Filling Up…

They say there are no atheists in foxholes. I’m not sure how true this statement is since I’ve never known anyone who has dug a foxhole while enemy mortars were raining down. But you can see where the line of thought comes from: when faced with dire circumstances, the conventional wisdom says that people tend to rely on, rather than deny, the existence of God.

Is this conventional wisdom true? Do more people rely on God rather than deny God when faced with life’s storms? I have no evidence one way or the other, but my gut tells me that people tend to rely on God, even if they would never use such language to express themselves. This reliance on God takes many forms, to be sure, and some are less obvious than others. Here are a few of them. See if any of these fall into your experience when a storm has arisen in your life.

  1. God has always been your steady rock, in both good times and bad. When the storm comes up, your reliance on God feels just as natural as it always does.
  2. You have a vague belief in God, but that belief doesn’t really impact the way you live your life. When the storm rises, you discover that your belief keeps you afloat and you are astonished to find out you believe as fiercely as you do.
  3. The storm rises and you feel like God has abandoned you. You search and search, but you just can’t seem to find God in your situation. When the storm subsides, you realize that the search for God in your distress was just what you needed to sustain you.
  4. The storm rises and you blame God for your distress. You tell God you don’t believe anymore. Then you realize that you can’t blame something you don’t believe in. And you understand that God will willingly take the blame if it helps you persevere.

Relying on God takes so many forms that trying to classify them all would be a fool’s errand. So I encourage you to tackle this question this week: when faced with a storm in my life, where do I expect God to be?

…Praying For…

Dear God, thank you for promising never to separate from me or let me wander off alone. In the midst of the storm, help me to recognize your presence and rely on you. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

…Sending Out…

I leave this moment with you, God, praying for the faith to sustain me through all of life’s storms.